Wednesday, June 17, 2009

More Spam, Please!

And here we are again, folks, up to our eyebrows in Spam. And I, once again a devotee of the art, present you herewith another sampling of its delights, exactly as received.

"Invitation to dinner" (Thank you! What are we having? with me on this? All together now: "S P A M !" Ya gotta love it!)

"ready for your cartier?;--Biggest choice of watches...." (Why do I suspect the lack of a capital C in "cartier" might be a clue to something other than a third grade education?)

"Rihanna acted dirty" (Oooooooh! I'm all a-twitter with excitement. I can't wait to open the message to find out more. Who's Rihanna?)

"No interested in getting 2500euro Free? Then don't read on." (Thanks. I no interested, and I won't.)

"Hey buddy--the us dollar continues to fall in value......" (Hey, pal, thanks for the heads up. I had no idea. I assume the them dollar is stable?)

"Sarah gave your mail..." (Yes, and Michael Rowed the Boat Ashore. So your point is...?)

"I miss you soo much!!--Anti-depressant" (And I miss you, too, whoever you are. And after looking at this crap, I need an anti-depressant, but not from you!)

"Stinkbesies--With this you will always feel respect for yourself...." (Well, to paraphrase the Smuckers Jam logo: "With a name like Stinkbesies it has to be good!")

"Look at this shit." (Unfortunately, that's what I'm doing.)

"You have received an e-card!--Dear Hun,....." ("Hun" as in Atilla the?)

"You're a moron!" (...sayeth the pot to the kettle)

"Hello--was john that is it just answer today please...." (Of course I'll answer today! It's always a pleasure to see someone who speaks fluent Gibberish.)

"Asbestos Alert! You May Be Entitled to Millions!!" (...or not. I'll go for the latter.)

"Didn't receive Paypal transfer." (Do you suppose it might have something to do with the fact that I didn't send it?)

"Tiny helper for big growth--And did you already do happy the gerlfriend..." (Gee, and I thought you were talking about fertilizer pellets for tomato plants. But no, I did not do happy the gerlfriend. I never do happy the gerlfriend. I prefer bouys.)

"Do you get over $850 each day on line? Then just ignore this...." (Consider it done.)

"Hey, check her butt!" (Thank you, but I'll pass.)

"Forget about fear to be 'limp' in front of woman--get the support of your dream." (Good Lord, how many times do I have to tell you people?)

So you think we're done with spam, now? To quote my favorite not-sold-in-stores announcers: "But wait...there's more!"

New entries are posted by 10 a.m. Central time every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Please come back...and bring a friend. And remember, you're cordially invited to visit my website at, or drop me a line at

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